The Greatest

Very few people have been called the greatest.  A few more have self-proclaimed that they are the greatest.  I want to be the greatest at something.  Michael Jordan being the greatest at basketball is almost a consensus, although you could make a case for Wilt Chamberlain.  Lil Wayne and Jay-Z both proclaim that they are the best rappers.  I think that since Jay has more record sales, more #1 singles, and more #1 albums than even the Beatles that he takes the cake.  Mohammad Ali said he was the greatest.  I don't care for boxing so whatever.  So from what I've come up with basketball, rapping, and boxing are out.  That leaves a lot of options for me.  I'll need to chose something that I already have a knack for as well.  Lets see ... blowing bubbles, throwing a Lacrosse ball, eating hot foods.  There are a lot of people out there so odds are that someone is better than me at such generic things.  I need to go very specific and maybe into a category that no one has gone before.  I got it.  I am the greatest mountain biker down fire lanes in Forest Park with a matching baby blue outfit.  On second thought probably even not that.

Super Smash Bros.

Probably the greatest game of all time.  And yes I have played Halo Reach on Xbox Live while using an HD TV.  Please do not think that I am a serious gamer, my Mom only let my brother and I play 45 minutes a day on the weekend.  So one might think that I have not played enough games to be taken as an "expert".  Believe me though, I have friends who loved video games and they exposed me to the most critically acclaimed games.  Super Smash is the best because it contains lasting value.  Most games can only be played for a couple months at a steady pace until they become boring.  Each sport games pumps out another version every year.  But Super Smash is timeless.  It was the first game where people would play together in a group environment.  For the purposes of this post I am eliminating all PC games from the discussion.  Tourneys were created to allow people to challenge each other.  It was the first popular game to not be a "main game" game.  The design was to play with others and not by yourself.  This allowed gaming experiences to be shared and thus more valuable.  Yeah I played last night in my basement with three friends last night after Ward Prayer.  It was great.

Buy you a coke

I actually like T-Pain's song Buy You a Drank.  In his song the story follows that the purchase of a drink or drank leads to an encounter with a woman.  In my case this did not happen.  Here is the original song followed by my version:
I'm gonna buy you a drank (wooo woo woooo)
Imma take you home with me
My version:
I'm gonna buy you a coke (wooo woo woooo)
She gonna say thank you
I imagine that T-Pain does not buy women soda but instead expensive liquor.  Now T-Pain is not the stud of the ranch, so I bet that if I bought women at BYU Martinellis to drink they would have a more positive response.  She enjoyed it but 60 cents can't impress much.  Maybe delivery matters as well.  If the coke had been in a cooler she would have had the wow factor as well.  Next time . . .

Why Is Soccer Not a Big Deal in America?

Well we already got football.  American football.  Why would we need another football?  People think that the Superbowl is huge.  Only in America.  Way more people watch the World Cup.  Plus the NFL is not an international event.  Nobody cares outside of America.  But even the EPL makes headlines on ESPN.  When I was in Australia nobody cared about the NFL, I would get questions asking about how it was played.  I think soccer would be a bigger deal if there was an American superstar.  We love rallying around a good cause and bragging about our abilities.  Think about the Olympics.  But without an elite player we have no person to identify with on the big stage.  Freddy Adu for awhile looked like a potential candidate.  Landon Donovan is a household name here, but in England he is a backup on an average club.  Not until we have an American star on the highest stage will Americans care about the real football.

Intramural Flag Football

I enjoy intramural sports.  I like playing anything really.  But I hate it when the sports is changed irrationally.  Flag football is the worst; the rules of the game are ridiculous.  Flag football doesn't even resemble the type of football you play during Thanksgiving weekend with your friends.  From my experience everyone plays the same way.  It is equivalent to two hand touch only that to stop a player you pull the flag rather than touching with two hands.  Simple.  Why did BYU have to change something that has been perfected over time?  Rules such as flag guarding, stripping, contact, and hosts of others change the game so much so that entirely different skills sets and strategy apply.  It is impossible to block someone without touching them.  In order to not get called for flag guarding one has to run like Frankenstein, arms extended outward.  Please let us play flag football like we do during Thanksgiving weekend.

Greg Ohhhhden, Part 3

Gosh, if only his projections weren't off the charts.  How long will potential still be enough value to keep someone around?  In the NBA Jam world Greg would be a slam dunk.  Injuries would not plague him.  His brute strength would never cause a foul.  His two major weaknesses would be neutralized leaving him unstoppable.  I hope the Blazers keep him until his current contract expires.  Right now Marcus Camby is a superb back up and has proven he can be the starting center already.  Marcus' presence allows the Blazers front office to gamble on Oden this season and probably next.  However after that I would pull out and cut my losses.  Maybe he will develope.  He could turn out to be an All-Star somewhere else a la Jermaine O'neal.  But having that question mark lingering around takes a tool on the team in many ways.  I want to see how this Greg thing plays out but if someone offered me a low 30 year old double double machine I would pull the trigger.  I'm done lamenting about Greg.  Time for a new topic.  I think it will be the nuances of flag football at BYU.

Greg Ohhhhden, Part 2

Expectations never seem to be fulfilled as often as one would hope.  Greg tore up the preseason with earth shattering dunks and Dikembe-like swats.  The critics were hailing the rookie of the year award a two man race - Greg vs. Kevin.  But then he got injured.  Halt the fantasy about whooping the Lakers in the Western Conference finals.  The sad thing is that this process of wetting my appetite and then being shot in the face continued for 2 more seasons.  Each time he would flash brilliance.  Last season for the handful of games he did play he averaged 10 points, 10 boards, and 2 blocks.  That kind of a stat line will give you a nod as an all-star center in the east, just ask Al Horford.  I am sick of using the excuse, "If only Greg Oden was healthy... ," in every basketball debate.  Now he is training again to get back to playing shape.  This brings into question what the future will hold for him and the Blazers... To Be Continued.